Don't Talk to Strangers
by joeanne
Summary: Steve and Blue have a new neighbor but he's really creepy. And who's attacking all of the children's program characters?
1. Meet the Neighbor

  
Don't Talk to Strangers: A Blue's Clue fanfic  
by joeanne  
---------------------------------------------  
  
This is sort of a sick bizarre little story idea I had. This  
is not to be taken seriously, and I really do love Blue's Clues.  
Check that, I specifically like Steve and the cute show is really  
just a side benefit.   
  
---------------------------------------------  
  
As always, it was a bright, cheery day in the world of children's  
television programming. In a quiet little suburb of Sesame Street  
and Mr. Rodger's Neighborhood was a little yellow house with purple  
framing and a red tile roof. Normally this combination of colors   
would send any "Good Housekeeping" aficionado running in terror, but   
the preschoolers found it comforting and that was all that mattered.  
  
Steve, last name always withheld, stared out the window of his cheery  
home. Any minute now, his puppy Blue would wake up for food and play.  
They might play a game of "Blue's Clues" which was always fun for   
Steve. It felt good helping children learn. It was a good life, if a   
little simplistic.   
  
In those scant moments that Steve had to reflect on his life, he was a   
little sad that he hadn't been able to make any real human friends yet.  
He supposed that he could visit Sesame Street, but he wasn't sure how   
the fuzzy Muppets would respond to Blue.   
  
Steve heard a quiet little bark and felt a nuzzling at his feet. "Good   
morning, Blue!" Steve greeted and patted the puppy on the head. Blue   
gazed up at him with adoration. "Bet you're hungry, huh? Let's go   
visit Mr. Salt and Mrs. Pepper in the kitchen!" Steve suggested.  
  
Blue barked quizzically. "Oh, and Paprika too!" Steve remembered as   
he jogged to the kitchen.   
  
"Bonjour, Steve!" the spices chorused in cheesy French accents.  
  
"Bonjour Mr. Salt, Mrs. Pepper and Paprika," Steve answered. He   
turned to an unseen audience, "That's French for 'Hello'." Steve  
returned his attention to the spices. "How are you today?"  
  
"We are wonderful, thank you for asking," Mr. Salt answered.  
  
"Have you heard? We have a new neighbor!" Mrs. Pepper announced.  
  
"Really?" Steve quirked an eyebrow.   
  
"Yes, his name is Jeffery," Mrs. Pepper informed them in a drippy   
French accent.  
  
"Do you know what show he's with?" Steve asked.  
  
Mrs. Pepper shook her head, "I am afraid not, Steve."   
  
"Well, maybe he'll come over today and we can find out! I love figuring  
things out," Steve said excitedly. The others agreed expect for Blue,   
who was whining pitifully. "I'm sorry, Blue. Let me get your   
breakfast," Steve said, and began to prepare her food.  
  
A few seconds later, he set a bowl down in front of Blue and she began   
munching happily. Steve smiled, he supposed that at least part of his   
reason for existence was to make the dog happy. But that was a question  
for philosophers; he was just a children's show host.   
  
The doorbell rang. Steve looked out the kitchen door with surprise. The  
doorbell almost never rang. Who could it be? Steve calmly jogged to the  
door and opened it.   
  
A dark haired man in his thirties stood there, dressed in dark jeans and   
t-shirt. "Hello, you must be Jeffery, the new neighbor!" Steve greeted.  
  
"Yes," the man greeted back. Jeffery's eyes wandered up and down Steve's  
frame, making the younger man uncomfortable. Steve shifted around on his  
feet.  
  
"Hi, I'm Steve," Steve said, offering his hand. Jeffery gripped it tightly  
and pumped it up and down a few times. Jeffery's hand was sweaty and Steve  
desperately wanted to pull it away. Steve grinned brightly to hide his   
discomfort.  
  
"Yes, I've heard quite a bit about you," Jeffery said. Jeffery was no longer   
pumping his arm, but his fingers had curled inward slightly and started  
stroking Steve's palm.   
  
Steve chuckled nervously and managed to jerk his hand away. "I was just   
starting breakfast. Do you want some?" he asked.  
  
"Absolutely," Jeffery answered. Steve backed away from the door and jogged   
into the kitchen. Jeffery followed him and sat at the table. Blue looked up  
from her bowl at the stranger.   
  
"Oh, Blue this is Jeffery, Jeffery this is my dog Blue," Steve introduced. Blue  
barked a greeting and Jeffery nodded his head. Satisfied that all was in order,  
Steve turned back to cooking. As with all things in the universe of children's  
programming, it took approximately five seconds to cook eggs, bacon, toast, pour  
some orange juice and milk and set it all on a tray with silverware and a napkin.  
  
Jeffery smiled with satisfaction, but Steve wasn't sure whether or not it had   
anything to do with the cooking. He set his tray and Jeffery's down and they  
began to eat.  
  
"So Jeffery, what do you do?" Steve asked. Before Jeffery could answer Steve   
butted in, "Maybe you're a fireman who drives a big red truck. Or maybe   
you're a policeman who catches bad guys. Or maybe you're a writer who   
writes lots of books!"  
  
"Actually, I'm unemployed," Jeffery answered.  
  
"Oh. Well, maybe we could play 'Blue's Clues' to help you figure out  
what you'd like to be?" Steve offered.   
  
"Maybe another time, Steve," Jeffery said, pushing his half-eaten tray  
away.   
  
"Okay," Steve said good-naturedly. He went back to eating. Suddenly, he  
felt a foot stroking his leg. Steve jumped with a start and looked at  
Jeffery. The other man was drinking his orange juice, looking innocent.   
  
"I really must be going, I have things I need to do," Jeffery announced.   
Steve hopped up and showed Jeffery to the door. Jeffery stood on the step  
and faced Steve, "I hope I'll see you again, Steve." His tongue darted out  
of his mouth to lick his lips.   
  
"Sure! It'll be fun!" Steve lied. "Bye!" he called out and waved. Steve   
slammed the door once Jeffery was out of sight. "I don't need 'Blue's Clues'   
to tell me he was creepy," the young man said.   
  
Blue whimpered in agreement. Steve bent down and Blue jumped into his arms   
and licked his face. The young man laughed and set the little dog down.   
"So, what do you want to do today?" Steve asked. Blue hopped around and   
slapped her paw into the air, leaving a mark. "Oh, we're gonna play Blue's  
Clues, we're gonna play Blues Clues!" Steve sang and danced. All thoughts of  
the creepy guy were pushed aside until later that night.   
  
Steve sat down in his thinking chair and tucked his legs under him. Blue   
grabbed the remote in her teeth and jumped onto Steve's lap. "Ow! Um, Blue  
if you could shift a little--thank you," Steve groaned. Blue moved to a   
better place on Steve's lap, away from his sensitive area.   
  
Steve then took the remote from Blue and turned on the television. "You know  
television can actually be a useful educational tool when used properly with  
the right programming and the presence of a parent. It only becomes dangerous  
when it is relied on as a babysitter or children accidentally tune into the   
Playboy channel," Steve explained to Blue. The puppy just nodded.  
  
Steve surfed the channels until he found the "Sesame Street News," which had  
the most extensive coverage of events in the land of children's programming.  
  
"Hello, Kermit T. Frog here outside of the home of Burt and Ernie, the two   
young men who saved Prairie Dawn from an attacker earlier today," the   
familiar green newsreporter said. Burt and Ernie entered into the frame  
from Kermit's right. "At approximately 4:00 p.m. Eastern/Standard time,   
Prairie Dawn was walking to the store when she was attacked from behind  
by a mysterious figure. Burt, Ernie tell us how you found Prairie Dawn."  
  
"Well, Kermit, Burt and I were going to get pigeon food for Burt's pigeons,"  
Ernie began.  
  
"Only the finest of course for my feathered friends," Burt interrupted.   
  
"And as we were walking toward the store we heard a scream from the alley  
behind the store," Ernie explained.  
  
"We went to see what it was, I thought it might be a new breed of pigeon.   
There were no birds but there was this big guy on top of Prairie Dawn!"   
Burt said.  
  
"We yelled in surprise and we frightened the guy off," Ernie said.  
  
"Did you get a good look at the attacker?" Kermit asked.  
  
"I'm afraid not, I was too scared," Ernie answered.  
  
"He was human, though. That much I saw," Burt added.  
  
"We'll now turn to Elmo who is currently with Prairie Dawn. Elmo?"  
Kermit announced as the news cut to Elmo and Prairie Dawn sitting on   
a park bench.  
  
"Did you know who it was?" Elmo screeched.  
  
"No, but now I'm afraid to go out alone again. In fact, I don't think  
anyone should until this guy is caught. He's crazy!" Prairie Dawn cried.  
  
"Do you think this might be the same person who terrorized the Teletubbies,  
who blackmailed Barney, and attempted to kidnap Kaptain Kangaroo?" Elmo   
asked.  
  
"I'm positive," Prairie Dawn answered.   
  
"Back to you, Kermit," Elmo announced.  
  
"So far there have been no suspects named but the police are on the lookout  
for any suspicious characters. From the list of crimes it seems that no one  
is safe and nothing is sacred. Watch yourselves my friends and don't talk  
to strangers and don't go out alone. Please contact the police if you have  
any information concerning these crimes. Today's' Sesame Street News has  
been brought to you by the letters C an P," Kermit signed off.  
  
"Wow, this is serious, Blue. I wonder if we could use Blue's Clues to   
figure out who this mysterious attacker is?" Steve asked. Blue   
shrugged and barked quizzically.   
  
"Well, I guess we can always try in the morning," Steve said. He flipped  
the TV off with the remote. "Let's go to sleep, we have a long day ahead."  
  
  
To be concluded the next chapter. What do you think?   



	2. Let's Play Blue Clues!

Don't Talk to Strangers: A Blue's Clues fanfic  
by joeanne  
  
The next morning was just as bright and cheery as the day before. In fact,   
it was always bright and cheery and Steve could hardly remember a time when   
it wasn't. He rolled out of bed and stretched. He rubbed the sleep out of   
his eyes and stumbled into his living room. Steve casually glanced out the  
window and noticed Blue sitting on the front lawn.   
  
This was rather puzzling since Blue was usually still asleep when Steve woke  
up. He opened the door and stepped outside, unmindful that he was wearing   
his pajamas and fuzzy slippers. "What is it, Blue?" Steve asked the puppy.  
  
Blue whimpered and pointed to a new house that had been built across the   
street. She pranced around nervously, always looking at the house. "Is  
that where Jeffery lives?" Steve asked.  
  
Blue nodded and barked frantically. "Did you see or hear something over  
there?" Steve asked. Blue was practically having a seizure by now.   
Steve stroked the puppy's head to calm her down.   
  
Steve then had a rare flash of true insight, "Do you think it has anything to   
do with what we saw last night?" Blue spun around, jumped into the air and   
smacked her paw in the air. A bright blue pawprint hovered there.  
  
"So we need to play Blue's Clues to figure out what Jeffery's doing today?"   
Steve asked. Blue nodded and barked. She spun around again excitedly.   
"Okay, I've just got to get dressed and we can start."  
  
Steve jogged into the house and back into his room. As he quickly shed his   
pajamas and slipped into his customary khakis and green-striped shirt, he   
thought about the situation. If Blue was this upset at what Jeffery was   
going to do today it must be bad. Unfortunately, the format of the show   
prevented Steve from getting any direct answers from his faithful friend.   
The only way she could communicate was through the Blue's Clues game.  
  
This meant that he would have to try twice as hard to find the clues   
if they were going to stop Jeffery from doing whatever he was going to do.   
Steve dashed fully dressed out of his room. He looked around, puzzled that   
Blue wasn't waiting for him.   
  
Steve jogged into the living room and picked up his handy dandy Notebook.   
Suddenly, he heard a cry from behind him. It sounded like someone was   
saying, "Shoe." "What shoe?" he turned around and asked.  
  
"NO! A CLUE!" the voices boomed.   
  
"Oh, a clue!" Steve answered. The voices had been disturbing at first, but   
then he realized that it was just part of his universe and that he would   
just have to go with it.   
  
Steve spun around and saw a handkerchief with a pawprint on it lying  
innocently on the floor. "Hey, we just found our first clue! We   
just found our first clue, we just found our first clue, we just found our first   
clue, we just found our first clue, because we're really smart!" Steve sang.   
  
"Now to put this in our handy dandy Notebook," he muttered and he crudely  
drew a handkerchief with the oversized crayon. "Now, what would Jeffery  
want to do with a handkerchief?" Steve asked himself, tapping the crayon  
against the side of his face. "I guess I need more clues," he said.  
  
He hadn't seen where Blue had disappeared to, so Steve decided to check  
the kitchen. He jogged to the kitchen and was disappointed that there  
was no sign of Blue.   
  
"Hello," Mr. Salt began.  
  
"Steve," Mrs. Pepper finished for him.  
  
"Hi, Mr. Salt, Mrs. Pepper, Paprika! Have you seen Blue today? We're   
playing Blue's Clues," Steve flexed his hands twice, "to figure out what  
Jeffery wants to do today."   
  
"We saw Blue," Mrs. Pepper started.  
  
"Go to the backyard!" Mr. Salt finished.   
  
"Thank you," Steve said.  
  
"Wait! Can you help us figure out what Paprika--" Mrs. Pepper began.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I'm on a time constraint today. I'll come back after Blue's  
Clues," Steve flexed his hands again, "And help you all you want." Steve   
quickly jogged out of the kitchen to avoid the spices' protest.   
  
Steve went outside and stopped by the sandbox. "Hi, Shovel. Hi, Pail.   
Have you seen my puppy today?" he asked.  
  
"I think she went back inside," Shovel answered.  
  
Steve was beginning to get frustrated. Normally this kind of thing wouldn't  
faze him, but today the clues were important.   
  
"Can you help us play 'Charades'?" Pail asked.  
  
"Um, how can you play 'Charades' when you don't have any arms and a limited   
range of expression?" Steve asked quizzically.  
  
"STEVE!" Shovel and Pail admonished.   
  
"I thought it was a reasonable question," Steve defended himself.  
  
"Do! Do!" Steve heard the choir invisible chorus.   
  
"Do what?" he asked the sky.  
  
"NO! Clue!" the voices chorused again.   
  
"OH!" Steve looked and found a pile of rope with a blue pawprint on it. "We   
found our second clue!" Steve danced for a few moments and sketched the rope   
into his handy dandy Notebook. "Now I have to go inside to find the third   
clue. Bye!" Steve called.  
  
"Wait! Aren't you going to help us play?" Shovel asked pitifully.  
  
"Don't worry, we can do it ourselves," Pail comforted. He began jumping around  
in the sand.  
  
"Sounds like--"  
  
Steve dashed back inside. He had already been into the kitchen, the living room,   
and the bedroom. Blue wouldn't waste time today going into a picture, that left   
one room: the bathroom.  
  
The bathroom was immaculately clean, which was surprising since this was a   
bachelor's house. Slippery Soap was sitting on the sink looking a little upset.   
"What's wrong, Slippery?" Steve asked.  
  
"Blue left a really scary clue in here," Slippery answered.  
  
Steve looked puzzled, "What kind of clue?"  
  
"A creepy one," Slippery said. "I know that it's probably important but it's   
really nasty."  
  
"Where is it, Slippery?" Steve asked.  
  
"In the medicine cabinet," Slippery answered.  
  
Steve faced the cabinet, a little frightened of what may be inside. His hand   
skirted the handle before jerking away. Steeling his courage, Steve yanked the  
door open. There were the typical medicine bottles and cups and a tube with a   
bright blue pawprint.   
  
"Hey, the third clue!" Steve gasped. He picked up the tube which curiously had   
no label. "Um, Slippery. What's so scary about a tube? There isn't even a label  
on it," Steve asked.  
  
Slippery indicated for Steve to come closer. The soap bar whispered exactly what   
the tube was for. Steve flushed a bright red. "Oh," was his only answer. "Um,   
is there anything I can get you, Slippery? You know that it's okay to talk to me   
if you have a problem or when you're upset," Steve offered.  
  
"Just a warm cup of Dial, please," Slippery asked. Steve patted the soap bar on   
the head, and wiped the film off on his pants.   
  
"I'll be back soon, okay?" Steve said. Slippery nodded. Steve dashed back into   
the living room. He drew a picture of the tube into his notebook. "Hey! I have   
all three clues! It's time for--" Steve began.  
  
"The Thinking Chair!" the invisible voices called.  
  
"The Thinking Chair!" Steve echoed and plopped down into the soft, oversized red   
chair. Blue came in right at that moment and sat behind it. "Now what would   
Jeffery want to do with a handkerchief, a rope, and that tube?" The objects in   
question obligingly appeared over Steve's head.   
  
"Hmm. He could tie the handkerchief to the rope and play tug-of-war! But that   
leaves out the tube. Maybe, he could use the rope to make a four-square court--  
that makes no sense," Steve said. "Maybe if I started with the tube--"  
  
Blue barked in encouragement. "Okay, so the tube--oh," Steve flushed as red as   
the Thinking Chair. He waved his hand in the air above him to disperse the   
pictures above his head. "We just figured out Blue's Clues, and now I'm going to  
be ill," Steve sang, clutching his knees to his stomach.   
  
Blue whimpered in sympathy. "Yes, we should call the police before anything bad  
happens," Steve agreed and reached for the phone.   
  
"Hello, Sesame Street Police, how may I help you?" a voice answered.   
  
"Wow, does Sesame Street run everything?" Steve asked.  
  
"Well, being the first children's show set in a fictionalized urban environment   
we've had more experience with real life institutions," the voice explained.  
  
"Oh, neat. Well, my dog Blue and I were playing Blue's Clues to figure out   
what Jeffery wanted to do today," Steve started.  
  
"Who's Jeffery?" the voice asked.  
  
"He's my creepy, suspicious new neighbor!" Steve answered cheerfully. "When   
we finished the game we found three clues: a handkerchief, rope, and a tube of--  
stuff. I'm afraid that Jeffery is going to do something strange and unmentionable   
in front of children," Steve explained.  
  
"This does sound serious. I'll send some officers right away, Mr. Steve," the   
voice reassured.  
  
"Thank--" Steve was cut off by a cloth covering his mouth. He could feel it work  
its way over his lips and between his teeth. His assailant quickly tied the ends   
of the cloth together, effectively gagging Steve. Steve had already figured out  
that Jeffery had come by to "play."  
  
When Steve reached behind him to swat Jeffery's hands away, the older man grasped  
his wrists. Jeffery forced Steve to bend forward and then tied the younger man's  
wrists behind his back. When Jeffery moved away, Steve bolted for the door.  
  
The older man quickly caught up and threw Steve back into the Thinking Chair.  
Jeffery then straddled his victim's lap to make sure he wasn't going anywhere.  
  
"Are you sure you don't want to reconsider? I've called the police and they're  
on their way. You'll already have a great deal of jail time coming up so why  
make this worse for yourself?" Steve reasoned. Unfortunately, Steve was gagged  
so it came out more like, "MMhhhmmMMM,uuuummmmmmhhhhh."  
  
"Mine, all mine," Jeffery muttered, running his fingers through Steve's hair.   
  
Suddenly, a stray thought went through Steve's mind. /Where's Blue? I hope  
she's okay./ Steve felt Jeffery's hands leave his hair. It would have been  
frightening if Jeffery had begun undoing Steve's belt, but now he was undoing  
his own! /HELP!/ Steve screamed mentally.  
  
A low growl came from in front of the Thinking Chair. Jeffery stopped unzipping  
his pants and turned to look. "Oh, look. It's your little friends, Steve,"   
Jeffery sneered. Steve craned his head to look around Jeffery.  
  
Blue and her friend Magenta were in front, growling fiercely. Mailbox, Shovel,   
Pail, Slippery and the spices were standing behind them. Blue turned to Magenta  
and barked what sounded like, "Charge!"   
  
Magenta flew at Jeffery and proceeded to do horribly violent things to him. Blue  
climbed into the Thinking Chair and chewed off the binding ropes. When Steve was  
free, he untied the gag around his mouth. He looked at Blue, "I didn't know   
Magenta was a black belt in karate!" Blue shrugged and watched the carnage.   
  
The door flew open with a bang and a serious of Muppets dressed in blue uniforms  
piled into the house. Magenta finished off Jeffery with one last kick to the   
groin. The Muppets surveyed the scene. "I take it that's Jeffery," one asked,  
pointing to the bloodied mess on the floor.  
  
Steve could only nod. The Muppets officers picked Jeffery up off the floor and  
handcuffed him with toy handcuffs. "You have the right to remain silent, anything  
you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to  
a snack, if you do not have a snack one will be provided to you by the Children's  
Television Workshop cafeteria--" a blue monster recited as they dragged Jeffery off.  
  
"We'll take it from here, young man. You may need to come down to the station   
tomorrow to make a statement, but that should be it before the trial. I have   
a feeling he'll be locked up for a long time," the head Muppet officer said.  
  
"Do you know who he was?" Steve asked.  
  
"The theory is that he is a fictive created by a disturbed author for the express  
purpose of terrorizing children's show characters. He's named after a famous   
serial killer," the Muppet reported.  
  
"Wow, thank you so much officer," Steve thanked.  
  
"You're welcome, young man," the officer said and walked out the door.  
  
"It's been a busy morning. Maybe we should have a party to thank everyone for  
their help today," Steve suggested. The inanimate objects cheered.   
  
"But first," Steve said, winking to the invisible audience. "And now it's time   
for so long, but we'll sing just one more song. Thanks for doing your part, you   
know you sure are smart. And with me and you, and my dog Blue we can do anything   
that we want to do," Steve sang as the sun shone brightly over an essentially happy  
world.  
  
The End  
  
------------------------------------  
Blue's Clues is owned by Nickelodeon and, I believe, Viacom. Jeffery is an original   
character owned by me. If you wish to borrow Jeffery then please email me.  
  



End file.
